When I came back from maternity leave two months ago, I
decided to spend my few days before my student teacher took over to get to know
my students again, to set up goals and expectations that we could revisit. We
modeled our reflections on the book “OneWord,” which
invites its readers to throw out the idea of New Years Resolutions and instead
choose one word to focus attention on; one word that guides the goals,
aspirations, and reflections for the year.
Right around this time, I lost one of the most important
people in my life. My gramma, my Oma,
Albina Theresa Hall. My grandmother was strong in so many ways. First and
foremost, she was a mother. She raised four kids who, despite some varied (and
definitely interesting) roads to get there, all ended up being beautiful
people. While she raised four kids, she also kept her home in a shape that
would be envied by models in “Better Homes and Gardens.” She somehow managed to
keep a spotless home, pay all her bills, and keep herself looking fly.
In 1968, my grandpa had a stroke which left him unable to
speak or care for himself. My dad was ten. My aunt was a little bit older and
they had two younger brothers. After the stroke, my grandmother had four children
ranging from childhood to early teens to take care of, and in addition to that,
she was the caretaker for my grandfather as well. And through that, she still maintained her household, her
appearance, her mental health, her faith, her pets… she managed to live her
life with grace and strength. She was the matriarch of our family, the center
of it. She hosted holidays in her beautiful home, she lead us with words of wisdom,
honest advice, and every now and then she reminded me that I needed to do for
myself before I do for a man (or marry a rich doctor. Either or.).
She was a
powerful woman.
So when I went through the One Word Process with my
students, it was a no brainer for me to come up with the word Oma.
In deciding what I wanted my focus to be for the year, it was easy for me to tie
my focus and my goals to the most powerful woman in my universe. I want to live
more like her, be as strong and
as selfless as
she always was. Her life was about the people (and animals) in it.
As women, it’s sometimes difficult to realize our power. In
many fields, males dominate, both socially and professionally. Laws about our
bodies are mandated by men in government. Social norms teach us to be frail,
thin, and clean, discouraging us from strength (both physical and mental).
Traditionally, we play house with dolls and serve tea, while boys build birdhouses
and drive cars. Men in America are CEOs and President. Men are paid at higher
rates for the same job. Women who speak up are “bossy” or another popular "b-word" while men
who speak up are just showing leadership and authority.
It is important for me as a classroom teacher to give power
to the young women in my class so they can ignore those societal weaknesses and own their power. In turn, it is important I then teach them to develop their power into influence. Power,
though harder to obtain as a woman, is equally fleeting for men and for women.
Power can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Stalin and Hitler had power.
But once their power was taken away,
so was their influence, their respect, and their dominion over others.
I teach
my girls that speaking up is not only acceptable, but necessary, both when they
are victims of inequality or injustice and when others are. I encourage them to
be competitive, but also supportive. I make sure they are aware that they can
be matrons but also matriarchs. They can raise families, be teachers, bake
cookies, and still manage, lead, and protect. They can be intelligent and still
humble. They are the masters of
their own bodies, their own minds, and their own influence. They can be stay at
home moms, or brain surgeons, or nurses, or President. They can sew AND work
for NASA.
Something happens when girls turn into young women. They
start being shy about their smarts and their power. They lose their confidence,
and start caring more about appearances than influence. In this vital time in
their lives, when their twelve, thirteen, fourteen years old, I strive to help my
young ladies shape who they are with confidence
and determination. I need to show them that they have power now and encourage them to keep it
when they go on to high school.
I need to make sure that my girls know that they will be
women one day, and being a woman doesn’t mean you need to be weak. Being a
woman means you can, and will, have power.
I want to teach young women to be more like my Oma, and I
personally will live my life with intentionality: strength, will, and power.
Like Oma.
