...Full of Powerful Young Women

When I came back from maternity leave two months ago, I decided to spend my few days before my student teacher took over to get to know my students again, to set up goals and expectations that we could revisit. We modeled our reflections on the book “OneWord,” which invites its readers to throw out the idea of New Years Resolutions and instead choose one word to focus attention on; one word that guides the goals, aspirations, and reflections for the year.

Right around this time, I lost one of the most important people in my life. My gramma, my Oma, Albina Theresa Hall. My grandmother was strong in so many ways. First and foremost, she was a mother. She raised four kids who, despite some varied (and definitely interesting) roads to get there, all ended up being beautiful people. While she raised four kids, she also kept her home in a shape that would be envied by models in “Better Homes and Gardens.” She somehow managed to keep a spotless home, pay all her bills, and keep herself looking fly.

In 1968, my grandpa had a stroke which left him unable to speak or care for himself. My dad was ten. My aunt was a little bit older and they had two younger brothers. After the stroke, my grandmother had four children ranging from childhood to early teens to take care of, and in addition to that, she was the caretaker for my grandfather as well. And through that, she still maintained her household, her appearance, her mental health, her faith, her pets… she managed to live her life with grace and strength. She was the matriarch of our family, the center of it. She hosted holidays in her beautiful home, she lead us with words of wisdom, honest advice, and every now and then she reminded me that I needed to do for myself before I do for a man (or marry a rich doctor. Either or.).

She was a powerful woman.

So when I went through the One Word Process with my students, it was a no brainer for me to come up with the word Oma. In deciding what I wanted my focus to be for the year, it was easy for me to tie my focus and my goals to the most powerful woman in my universe. I want to live more like her, be as strong and as selfless as she always was. Her life was about the people (and animals) in it.

As women, it’s sometimes difficult to realize our power. In many fields, males dominate, both socially and professionally. Laws about our bodies are mandated by men in government. Social norms teach us to be frail, thin, and clean, discouraging us from strength (both physical and mental). Traditionally, we play house with dolls and serve tea, while boys build birdhouses and drive cars. Men in America are CEOs and President. Men are paid at higher rates for the same job. Women who speak up are “bossy” or another popular "b-word" while men who speak up are just showing leadership and authority.

It is important for me as a classroom teacher to give power to the young women in my class so they can ignore those societal weaknesses and own their power. In turn, it is important I then teach them to develop their power into influence. Power, though harder to obtain as a woman, is equally fleeting for men and for women. Power can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Stalin and Hitler had power. But once their power was taken away, so was their influence, their respect, and their dominion over others. 

I teach my girls that speaking up is not only acceptable, but necessary, both when they are victims of inequality or injustice and when others are. I encourage them to be competitive, but also supportive. I make sure they are aware that they can be matrons but also matriarchs. They can raise families, be teachers, bake cookies, and still manage, lead, and protect. They can be intelligent and still humble. They are the masters of their own bodies, their own minds, and their own influence. They can be stay at home moms, or brain surgeons, or nurses, or President. They can sew AND work for NASA.

Something happens when girls turn into young women. They start being shy about their smarts and their power. They lose their confidence, and start caring more about appearances than influence. In this vital time in their lives, when their twelve, thirteen, fourteen years old, I strive to help my young ladies shape who they are with confidence and determination. I need to show them that they have power now and encourage them to keep it when they go on to high school.

I need to make sure that my girls know that they will be women one day, and being a woman doesn’t mean you need to be weak. Being a woman means you can, and will, have power.

I want to teach young women to be more like my Oma, and I personally will live my life with intentionality: strength, will, and power. Like Oma.

...Finding Balance.

When the question comes up, as it inevitably will in small-talk, “what do you do,” I’m never quite sure how to answer. It’s as pressing of a question to me as “who are you?”

We live in a culture where we are defined by what we do. Our “who” is equivalent to our “what.” And the pressure that I’m faced with when asked that question can be overwhelming and lead me to question really, who am I?

My struggle is deciding between my two selves:

I am a teacher.

I am a mom.

And when I struggle to differentiate, I find that I’m doing a disservice to both parts of me, and in turn, I sometimes feel that I am doing a disservice to all the children in my charge: my students and my own kids.4

--

This week I returned to work after 8 weeks of maternity leave. I spent nearly two months at home with my kids, three year old twin girls and a brand new baby girl. For several months my priority was being a good mom: reading to them every night, keeping a (embarrassingly minimally) clean house, feeding them from all the food groups, and yelling as little as possible. My priority was being a GOOD MOM. If you asked me what I did, the answer would be easy: I’m a mom to three beautiful, intelligent, powerful little girls.

But now that I’m back at school, I’m back to the balancing act that I’ve dealt with since my twins were born. Now, in addition to being a good mom, I’m trying to also be a GOOD TEACHER.

I want the absolute best for my students; I want to build them up, encourage them, empower them. I want to teach them to lead and to be successful. But I also want what’s best for my own kids, which includes a mom that’s home at a decent hour, who doesn’t do work at home in place of loving, cooking, and playing.

And that balance is HARD.

I feel it most when I’m receiving phone calls or texts regarding curriculum or grading while I’m giving the girls a bath, or coloring pictures of their cats with them. When I see those unanswered messages on my phone after the girls go to bed, I feel inadequate; there are teachers constantly giving their all, working all day and all night, doing what I used to do before I had kids. I suddenly feel like I used to be a great teacher, I used to work hard for my kiddos, but now I’m dropping the ball.

Is it fair that we ask our teachers to practically give up their lives for their jobs? Because I’m not going to lie, I feel an incredible guilt when I leave my school’s parking lot before 4pm. I hate that I have to decline meetings or work parties.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE going home early. I’m so happy to walk into the door to “Mommy’s home!!” I get bombarded with hugs and love and appreciation. And if I do stay, if I do spend a weekend working, or a few hours after school leading a club or coaching, I’m overwhelmed with the opposite guilt. I should be at home with my family. I used to be a good mom, before I came back to work.

I have big dreams. I want to expand my current leadership program, which is one class, to a full-time program where I can reach more students. My ultimate goal is to expand that idea to the district. I want to unify the leadership among our middle schools. I want to write a curriculum.

I have big dreams. I want to raise my daughters to understand their worth. I want to teach them to read and write. I want to teach them to advocate for themselves, to do well in school, to clean up after themselves. I want to spend time with them.

I have big dreams of raising test scores, empowering students to advocate for themselves.

--

I teach, as in actively work with students, more than 5/6 of my paid work day. I give up my lunch for clubs that I can’t host after school due to constraints at home. I give up my planning period, which is 1/6 of the day, more often than not to cover classes or meet with other teachers, minimizing (or getting rid of all together) the time I have for grading and planning. To make up for that loss of time, I come in to school hours before I’m contracted to, the earliest I’m able to, when they open the building at 6am. So that I’m not doing work in place of hanging out with my family, I’m staying up long after the older kids’ bedtime (9pm) to take care of planning, grading, writing rationales, or responding to e-mails.

This loss of time within the school day, which leads to the early arrival and the staying up late, have consequences for my family and me personally: I lose out on nursing my baby one more time before I leave. I lose out on hours of sleep to come in earlier and to stay up later. I miss out on appropriate chances to take a break at lunch, since more often than not, I give that break up for the betterment of my students or my work.

I’m not the only teacher/parent facing this dilemma. Many incredible teachers are worn so thin at work, then completely depleted at home, that they struggle to maintain being a GOOD TEACHER and a GOOD PARENT. And if they do maintain both, very often they burn out and seek other career opportunities, careers that will allow them to “turn off” when they get home; careers where they are paid for their time rather than just expected to donate it.

I could never leave the classroom to be a stay at home mom, as much as in my head and heart I sometimes wish that I could. I couldn’t because I love my students too much. I love my time with them. Some of that is selfish; I like what I do, and I don’t want to give it up. As I said, I have big dreams. I’m learning to balance teacher life with mom life and finding new ways to integrate the two.

But lately, I have a new “big dream…” that something could be done so that I have the time I need to be a great teacher and get to turn off when I get home so that I can be a great mom.

Something has to be done, or we’re going to start losing a lot of great teachers because they want to be great moms. Sometimes, the desire and need to do both is just too much.

...Learning Through Empathy

This week, the most unqualified, undeserving individual that I can think of was confirmed as the Secretary of Education. Just the prospect of her being in charge of my career and more importantly my students’ futures has had me thinking for the past few months: what makes a good teacher?

I ask this question a lot, of course, in my efforts to be the best I can be for my students. Let’s think about what great teachers do:

• ·         Great teachers build relationships with all their students.
• ·         Great teachers make students want to learn.
• ·         Great teachers make learning visible and purposeful for their students.
• ·         Great teachers make connections to students’ real lives and future careers.
• ·         Great teachers engage all students by catering to their specific needs.

Of course teachers are responsible for teaching content. We have curriculum we’re expected to help our students understand and grow from. We have standards that we have to live up to, and students are expected to improve in various ways while in our care.

But as I think about my list of what makes a “great teacher,” I find that empathy rather than content stands out as a common theme in each of those points.

According to Stanford Professor Emerita Nel Noddings, if you foster a culture of empathy in your classroom, the learning, test scores, and academic success goes up with it: “common sense tells us that care and trust would reduce failure rates. …Kids do better in a culture of caring.” Noddings has done studies on the relationship between empathy and academic achievement, and has come to the conclusion that success requires empathy.

It’s true that if a student feels unsafe, unwelcome, or uncared for, their focus will not be on content. More importantly, students who aren’t taught to care, students who aren’t treated with love, will grow up as adults who don’t treat others with love.

And really, what matters if not treating others with love?

What I’ve learned from the confirmation of Mrs. DeVos and the divisiveness that comes with it is that I can’t give up on loving my students. No matter what happens to the structure of public education in our country, my job is to teach students to care for each other, whether they’re male or female, black or white, gay or straight; whether they live in wealth or poverty, uptown or downtown.

My job is to teach with love and teach love.

And I will always prioritize that.

Thanks to Ruth Wilson for an incredible piece, "Empathy for the A" in Teaching Tolerance Spring 2016

...Understanding Civil Rights

It's been a while. Years. Since I've sat down to write about what state my classroom was in; I've reflected, of course, but not sat down to write.

Since the last time I sat down to write and reflect, I'm at a new school. The last three years I've had to completely relearn a new community and assimilate to a new culture that is very different than where I came from.*

At my first school, it would have been unheard of for a student to have a cell phone wallpaper that said "Make America White Again..." but at my new school, that's exactly what happened. Similar things happen often.

Don't get me wrong; my new school is racially and culturally diverse. 51% of the students are military transplants who come from all over the country and all over the world. We are not at all lacking diversity. But this culture is new to me. Students have much different political views than what I'm used to, and in turn, their sensitivities and tolerances tend to be a bit less sensitive and less tolerant than my past experiences.

I know none of my students are purposely racist or offensive. I'm sure none of my students' families are, either. I like to think that none of my families or students have hate in their hearts. But over the last two years (yes, more prevalent since Donald Trump started running for the highest office in our country), I've heard things uttered and seen things written that are shocking and terrifying. "Make America White Again" is one of those sentiments. Others include "Build a wall." "White Pride."  "Keep them out."

In response to these comments, and in a desperate attempt to address the happenings of our country in a way that is both sensitive to the parents of my students and still articulates why what's happening is NOT OK, I decided to utilize some "curriculum time" to discuss the Civil Rights Movement with my classes.

In the Spring of 1963, students in schools all over Birmingham, Alabama walked out of their classrooms and converged on 16th street in an act of defiance against racism and injustice. Though they didn't immediately change the mind of those that segregated them, they were able to get the attention of the rest of the nation, including President Kennedy. They were a catalyst for policy changes that attempted to end segregation and get us to a point where we actually treat all men, women, and otherwise as equals.

photo credit:

http://www.al.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2013/09/uab_to_host_photographer_bob_a.html

I was proud, to say the least, at the immediate responses and feedback from my students.

"Dude, that's like Donald Trump."

"That looks like the Women's March. I went to that."

"That's messed up. We can't let that happen again."

No, you sweet thirteen year old, we can't let it happen again.

I am so glad that we took the time to compare the sixties to today. I didn't need to tell these kids that what's happening now is reminiscent of the Civil Rights Movement. They made the connection all on their own.

Don't stop talking. Don't stop remembering.

Dear world, despite what's going on, there is hope. My seventh graders proved it to me this week. The loudest voices are scary. Terrifying. But when we come together, whether it's a children's march during a movement, a Women's March at the capitol, a sit-in at the airport, or another show of solidarity, there is hope.

There is hope.

You can find the Children's March documentary, as well as some other fantastic teaching resources, on www.tolerance.org. Mighty Times: Children's March http://www.tolerance.org/kit/mighty-times-childrens-march 

...showing what they know!

State Testing is a controversial topic for any school, but it's an especially stressful time for a "failing" school.

Yesterday marked our first day of the Measurement of Student Progress, or MSP.  Tensions were high throughout the building.  My 7th graders were testing on the expository writing skills-- they tested on something I taught them.

And like I said, tensions were high.

But they did it.  They completed their essays in the alotted time, and though I'm not allowed to read them, they looked beautiful upon glancing.  Better than anything they've put forth all year!

Today, the 2nd day of the writing test (today is Persuasive Writing), instead of being thick with tension, the room is buzzing.  Students came in laughing, joking with each other, and just generally happy.  And so did I.  They brought my spirits up.

I shared with them a study I heard on the radio this morning about people with higher stress and anxiety; stress is a way for your body to prepare itself for what's coming, so a lot of people with stress do better.  I also shared with them that the energy in the room is so much better today!  One student said, "I think that's because we're not as nervous today."  Another said, "Yeah, after yesterday, we know we got this."

After a very, very hard year (which I've failed to write about, sorry...), my students are coming out on top.

I won't know the scores until August, but their confidence is so impressive.  As much as they drive me crazy, I love these kids, and I'm so proud of them.

Teachers, pump your kids up about testing.  We all hate it... but ALL of our kids can excel on these things.  They are rock stars.

...a work in progress.

As a teacher, I adore my job.  So much so, that I sit in front of my computer on a Sunday in order to do it!

My first year of teaching, the Assistant Principal who helped to hire me "voluntold" me as ASB Adviser.  She told me I'd "be perfect for it!"  I later learned that first year teachers hear that ALL THE TIME!  But lucky for her (and more lucky for me...) ASB/Activities Coordinator has turned into my love and passion.

Now, I adore my humanities classes.  History is my favorite subject, and I am self titled "grammar-police."  But when I was offered a period to teach an elective, any elective, and had the opportunity to forge a Leadership class at my school, I was overjoyed (and of course, overwhelmed!).  Not only was I getting what most ASB Advisers only dream of, but I had the opportunity to team-teach with one of my good friends and my role model, the choir teacher (and amazingly fantastic superhero extraordinaire).

Neither of us had taught Leadership in the past, but I had my ASB experience and she had some experience helping out at her previous school.  So we bumbled and stumbled through Leadership Year 1, and together, we got to work with some awesome kids and come up with some spectacular ideas.

To this day (to this minute, actually, on my living room floor...) I am refining those ideas.  My leadership class is, and probably always will be, a work-in-progress.  At the end of last year, my lovely teaching partner moved on to be a High School Choir Director (a long time dream of hers), and this year, I am getting to work with an equally awesome choir teacher on leadership.

I'm having trouble working through all the fanastic things I got through camp, through teaching leadership, and through all the other wonderful people in the field, in Tacoma and Puyallup and all over the place.

Here are some of the things I'm working on.  Feel free to steal for any type of class or project!  That is, after all, how good teachers get good ideas. ;)

Team Project Binders

Our theme this year in Leadership is "Superheroes."  Everything we do is going to have the underlying theme of "heroes," and that includes the fonts I choose for assignments (Comic Book Commando) and the very cool Superman "L" that I found online.  That "L" adorns our syllabus, assignments, and is the cover page for our Team Binders.

Having a theme helps me tie together plans and projects, and it keeps a focus for the students.

The covers of the Team Binders are universal (rather than decorated individually) because even though the students are in small groups for projects, they are still all a part of one big team: Stewart Leadership.

The intention of Team Binders is to give the students all the tools necessary for them to design, create, and execute their own projects.  They are fully responsible for delegation of jobs, approval from Admin and SCDM, and ensuring that their project is successful.  Ms. Warren and I are to, of course, to support them and give them nudges when they're missing something important, and we're also going to leave up a list of "Possible Projects" for those who need the extra idea boost.

Tab 1:  Team Member Contracts

The Team Binder is divided into different sections, the first one being the member contracts.  This week, students will all receive a contract outlining their responsibilities, and a few of the consequences for not upholding the expectations we have of them.

Their VIP passes are their ticket to get around the school for various business they may need to complete: Admin signatures, jobs for teachers, school clean-up, poster hanging... the list goes on.  The VIP passes look something like this:

The badges include a mini version of the contract.  They also include the students "job" in the team.  The jobs they have the option of taking on, depending on their self-decided talents, are

• Manager
• This student is the one who decides that their talent is organization and management.  They are sort of like the "secretary" and book-keeper of the group.
• Creative Consultant
• The student who, in the group, decides they are artistic and creative.  They are going to take on the responsibility of design.
• Technology Guru
• This is the student who will keep up with their groups blog page and be responsible for computer and technology related things (powerpoints, e-mail, etc.)
• Publicity 
• This is the student who claims that they can be "loud and proud."  Generally, the student in the group who doesn't mind being in front of large groups of people, likes being on the video and/or intercom announcements, and can make phone calls to different adults.

Before being placed into teams this week, students will decide their talent.  Groups will then be comprised of one person from each talent, which will then become their job in their team.

Tab 2: Current Project

Teams will be responsible for coming up with projects (or choosing from the class list of Required Projects/Project Ideas).  In order to begin a project, they'll get a "Project Proposal" filled out and approved.  

Once it's approved and groups decide they're going to go forward with the project, it goes under their "Current Project" tab.  Under this tab, they'll also have a "To Do/Doing/Done..." sheet:

They also include any other paperwork that has to do with their project (examples include registration sheets for things like Relay for Life, signatures from principals, etc).  They should also have a calendar with a timeline under this tab that includes all the other groups dates for events as well.

Tab 3 will be completed projects, and the other tabs are blank and teams have a choice as to how they want to use them.

...Bad for my body, and great for my heart.

The evolution of shoes in the classroom:

Student teaching and year 1: High, skinny heels; pointy, squished toes.
Year 2:  Realized that wasn't working out, bought a pair of Naturalizers and some flatty flats.
Year 3: Flatty flats making my feet swell to astronomical sizes.  Each day of this week, I left barely able to walk.

So I did it.

I went shoe shopping.

The fact that I went [shoe] shopping is not tremendously surprising for me.  As a former shoe store employee, my footwear collection is large.  The collection includes adorably painful shoes that are killing my feet, knees, and spine when I wear them all day at school.  The surprising thing is that I went with full intent to never wear my teenie tiny, very cute, zero-support shoes to school ever again.

So I went to the mall and entered near Journey's, knowing full well that I wouldn't stop in, since I didn't need character shoes or neon sneakers.  But something caught my eye in their window display... and I did it.  I went in to try on a pair of Toms.

As yesterday was casual Friday, I was wearing my very bright green Stewart Middle School t-shirt.  The salesperson who helped me was very friendly, and we started talking about my job and why I needed new shoes.  Turns out, her little sister was one of my rock star Musical Theater students my first year of teaching.

After reliving that sweet part of history, I left the store, intent on "shopping around" for other shoes.  But after being distracted with best friends, Ninja Turtle Starbucks Style Water Glasses, and former students in the mall, I made my way back to Journeys and made the purchase.

The true test will be Monday, when I have seven straight periods of teaching and a half hour "lunch" in between to sit down.  As it stands right now, Toms seem to be the most perfect teaching shoes I could have found.

As much as my poor body has been tortured this week, one thing that has been warmed by being back at school is my heart.

Cheesy cliches aside, I am truly and honestly having an incredible time with my students so far.  Yes, it's only been three days.  And yes, the "honeymoon period" is not technically over.  But the change I've seen in some kids from last year to this, and the change I see in myself and my school, is overwhelmingly positive.

If you know anything about my school, you know that we've had our fair share of change.  And with change inevitably comes drama.  Changes in the schedule and calendar, new and shifting leadership, funding concerns, and Tacoma News Tribune articles were our lives for the last 2 years.  It hasn't been easy.  Especially for our kids.

This year, the changes we've made are solid... and... drum roll... CONSISTENT.   We've got high expectations for our students, all teachers and administrators are on the same page, and overall, there is an incredible culture and environment beginning to form at Stewart.

I am so excited to see where these changes take us as our "honeymoon" dies down and the real rigor starts.

More on that as it happens, I suppose.  :)